Well. Here I am. I haven't blogged in a long time, and there are many reasons for that. But most people who read this know what's going on with me, so I'll just keep this simple. 2008 and the beginning of 2009 were not what I thought they would be. I honestly thought that the dreariness was over, that dreams would come true, that this was the friggin' age of Aquarius. Why did I think that? Well the first few should tell you. Here are some jottings that will recap it all. Maybe I'll blog later in length about them individually. Maybe not. By the way, I'm listening to Dan Bern's "Airplane Blues" as I write this. I recommend everyone buy everything he's recorded. Here we go.
A black man was elected President. I campaigned for him in many ways. I always kind of felt like he was going to win, but it was a long haul. At least, I felt like he SHOULD win and that if our country had any sense left, he would. I write this first because it was SUCH A RELIEF to realize people weren't as stupid as I thought they might be.
The Cubs did NOT win the world series. At the beginning of the year I saw a sign on a WGN broadcast being held up by a rather homely redheaded guy saying: WGN: World Series, Girlfriend, New job. Bob Brenly said "Good luck with that, pal." He was being funny, and I like Bob a lot, but I thought to myself "that's what I want. Don't mock that, Bob." Well I didn't get the W. As for the G and the N, well, I...uh...came close.
I started dating someone.
I fell in love. For the first time, for real, in love. I still love her, and I probably always will. She is the funniest, coolest, wildest, most real, intense, mature, immature, fireball of life I've ever met, let alone dated. She changed my life.
I got dumped. Ok, that's not totally fair because it wasn't as harsh as that makes it sound. But suffice it to say that the first girl I really loved broke up with me. It hurts. Badly. I've only been broken up with one time before, and that girl turned out to be a lesbian. I can only hope that this one has some mission to Mars that required her to do it. And that there is some way I can stow away on board a chaser ship or go rogue and steal some secret craft and chase her to the alien planet myself. I guess I need to work on living in reality, but my mindworld is much more fun. In there you can be a hero and there are happy endings. And I'm at least as powerful as Superman.
I passed the bar. It took a while, but happy Jesus was it a good feeling. I can't even describe it. I was actually free of the job I hated, because I knew I'd eventually move on. And never have to study or worry about it again. I became not just a lawyer, but a CALIFORNIA lawyer.
I got laid off. A couple months after the pass, I was out of a job. It's partly because of my former boss, who's not worth a flying fuck of a mention, and crazy, and jealous (he never passed the bar), and partly because my company laid off 25% of the workforce and then two weeks later the boss took several people (outside the company) that he wanted to impress to Cabo to the tune of $280,000. How many salaries is that?
We had a recession. See above. In this economy, to do this kind of thing is a crime. My former boss, Avi Lerner, is not a good Jew.
My aunt died. I ended a chapter in my life. She was practically my mom for a lot of years, and had been remarried. Her husband didn't consult my sister or I on the funeral arrangements and then tried to accuse us of owing money when he forgot about the account dedicated for that. It was awkward.
My sister had a baby. I am an uncle. She's adorable, and I went to see her over thanksgiving. Unfortunately I had strep throat so bad I had to go to the emergency room, which wasn't totally covered by my insurance (layoff). I spent the whole time in my sister's basement. Then she and my bro in law got sick, and my girlfriend came to visit and we spent the whole time inside. But my niece is happy and healthy, and did I mention adorable. She has so much ahead of her, it's awesome. In fact, I'm kind of jealous. I know I'm supposed to have a Louis Armstrong sort of generous attitude about all the things she'll know that I'll never learn, but I can't help the fact that I'm jealous. By the time she gets old enough to know, ipods will be in every pack of chips. Hell, commercial space flight may be like nothing by the time she's ten. Aw who am I kidding, I'll be doing my damnedest to buy her a ticket. After I get one for me. :)
I was sick about four times between thanksgiving and new year's. I haven't been sick that many times in 15 years. Literally.
There were other things. These were the big ones. I still have my health, and count myself lucky to have learned how to love. It was the first time for me. I had to eat into my savings, and I have no job, but my credit cards are paid off and my credit score is pretty damn effin' good for the first time in my life. And I have a new tv (the old one broke, which was sad because my sis and I were there when my dad bought it and she always let me have it and it lasted 17 years and seeing it go down was like watching a ship you built get torpedoed). But the new wall mounted 52" LCD HD tv is UNBELIEVABLE and yes I know that I am very lucky to be bitching about not having a job but having a tv most people would kill for. Trust me, it is not lost on me). Cheap material things compensate for a broken heart, right?
I kid. Sort of. Not really.
I have an interview on Friday. First one in almost three months. So that's something to look forward to. God willin' and the creek don't rise, I'll be able to get a job and buy a little place this year. Then I'll own real estate in California. Wouldn't that be a dream? Maybe I'll concentrate on that. Someday, a person to share it with. Baby steps.
I guess I said I'd keep this simple, and I didn't. I blame you. Anyway the breakup was today, and I felt like venting. And since when have I ever been succinct?
