Unemployment Project II: Cat Tree: Level One

Welcome to my super long super gay four post blathering about cat trees. Luckily, it's mostly pictures.

So I got a kitty. My ex had named him after a grunge singer, but I wasn't having that. Besides, if I'm taking the little guy to the vet and buying his food, I'm naming him. I decided he needed a dago name. His official name is Vincenzo, but he goes by Vinny or Vin. And he answers to none of those.

He's watching me type this right now. He's fascinated by the mouse (or cursor, or whatever else is moving on my tv/monitor). He thinks he's the boss of everything, so I call him the Capo Di Tutti Kitty. See what I did there? If you're Italian or you watched a lot of Sopranos, you get that. That's pretty fucking clever and you know it.

Anyway, now I'm not just a single guy with a cat, I'm the crazy cat tree guy. I decided he needed something to climb on and have adventures in, so I started pricing out cat trees at Petco. I saw these:




They were ok, but they were like $200 - $300! I couldn't believe how expensive the damn things were. Especially considering they looked pretty flimsy. They don't even carpet the undersides, and they're just stapled. I decided I could do better building one myself.

I wanted to combine as many elements as possible. You know, to give Vinny all the features a cat could want. It had to have different levels, of course, and some place to hide in or tunnel through. I spent the better part of the next MONTH building this thing, and I even though I had made some sketches, I still pretty much made it up as I went along.

I searched and searched for carpet. There was nothing decent on craigslist, and no store would give me anything for free except tiny little scraps. Finally I found a place that sold me a remnant for cheap. Later I went back and got the rest of it. I went to home depot and picked up some plywood. Time to do this thing.

So I knew I should start with a base. I tried folding the carpet around a piece of plywood. It worked, but I quickly learned that I was doing things the hard way:


I had picked up a couple of wood rounds at Home Depot when I was there, and decided to just go ahead and cover those with carpet before I knew exactly what I wanted to do with them.


The way I did the rounds was much easier. I just traced it on the carpet, cut that out and hot glued it on (the hot glue gun was my friend, except when it was burning the first five layers of skin off my arm). Then I did the same to the other side, then cut a strip and glued that to it around the edge. Then I put a little bead of hot glue in the seam and pinched it all the way around so that you couldn't really see the edge. Worked like a charm. No more folding! Also, I had been using a crappy little staple gun. I scrapped that and went with just glue. The staples come out and don't really help. I suggest glue only (or a big ass staple gun, but glue is easier).

I knew I didn't want the second level much higher than 2 feet, so I cut some 2 x 4s and wrapped them with sisal rope (at HD, but OSH has it for cheaper). I nailed it in, wrapped it and tapped it down with a hammer as I went, then nailed down the other end:


Next I cut holes in the carpet of the base where the posts would go. It's easier to do this than to cut carpet to go around the posts after the fact. I attached the posts, then put another square on top, and now I had a little kitty temple.

My foreman inspects the work:

He later informed me that one of the posts was crooked, so I had to unscrew it and move it. That was a bitch. He never let up on me. The guy friggin' slept at the job site!



Next up: Level Two

Speakers Part Deux

Ok, so here's the end result of my labors. I think it turned out all right. Maybe a poster or some art if I can find the right item, but for the most part it's done.

Unemployment Project I: Speakers

My dad was not a guy who bought things. That is, not for himself. He spent the better part of his adult life trying to cater to my sister and my every whim, but wore the same pair of generic sneakers for ten years. So these speakers are pretty remarkable. In 1977 he bought a brand new pair of Bose 901 speakers. They weren't for me. Hell, I was only five. They were for him. They are one of the few expensive things he ever allowed himself (I think they retailed for about $1500 - in 1977). I'm really glad he did, because I still have them. They've outlasted the stereo and stereo cabinet they were bought with, as well as several more and most of the other physical possessions we ever had from that era, save my teddy bear. But Bear has been in storage for years now, whereas these have been used pretty much daily since I found them in the shed out back when I was in high school. I even brought them to college, and to every apartment I ever had in Chicago, and then to California when I moved here in 2003. They still sound spectacular, and are basically the same on the inside as the Bose 901 models sold today. The cabinets and stands, however, still screamed disco era dens and avocado kitchens. So I figured I'd give them an upgrade, especially considering that I was unemployed and needed something to do with my hands and my time.

So here we go:


This is actually pretty much an entire living room remodel (or redecorate at least). Those patches are where I filled in holes on my wall after taking down posters. The tv is new. It's the one expensive thing I've allowed myself, much like my dad and his speakers. It's a thing of beauty. My other one, a 27 inch tube job, was bought by my dad in 1991 and also travelled with me to college (where I dropped it and had to get it fixed) and then to Chicago (where it broke again and I got a tv repair guy to fix it for me for a bunch of cable I got from my job) and then to Cali. It weighed approximately 15,000 pounds. Getting your arms around it took 90 minutes. But that thing lasted 17 years.

Then it finally crapped out on New Year's Eve. So I figured if I'm going to buy a tv while unemployed, (and I am, mind you), then I might as well get one I won't want to trade in for a bigger one in two years. So I went hi-def and big screen. It's 52 inches of pure bliss. I probably should feel bad about it, but I don't. I'm not even going to pretend. I love it like my dad probably loved those speakers. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, the speakers. You can see one in the corner above. It's got an almost orange stain to the wood, and the "grill" fabric is a rope thick enough to repel with. The stands are white, and scratched to hell and even rusted.

So I started by detaching the stands and sanding the wood on the boxes. I started doing this by hand and then quickly decided to go to Home Depot and buy a sander (which I promptly repackaged and returned when I was done - it is a recession you know):


Still took forever because of the detail, and because 32 years of stain is hard to get off, and because I think they used human blood in the stain back in the 70s. Anyway, it was a bitch.



Now, for the stain. I bought "ebony" which is pitch black and the darkest stain they make. Despite that, it took many, many coats to get it dark on the wood, and even then it only turned out a color that IKEA calls "espresso" (which turned out to be a good thing, since I ended up getting an end table that color and now they match almost perfectly).



Some of these were taken with my cell phone if my camera batteries were dead, so they're kinda blurry. Or maybe I was drunk. Unemployment and stain fumes will do that to ya. So will 2 bottles of wine.


That's better.

Now for the stands. I started by holding these between my legs and using the sander on them. They give you these little extra rough pads for "stripping paint." They don't do shit. After 41 hours of labor I had removed 2 square inches of nothing. Back to Home Depot. Now I could finally return the sander and buy some "Citristrip," an orange colored all-natural paint stripper. I applied it, and waited. Two hours later, nothing. I left it over night. Nothing. I left it on for another 36 hours, and finally all the paint curled up and came right off. Took its sweet ass time, but it worked. Then I hand sanded the little bits that the stripper couldn't get (that's what he said).



Cool huh.

Next I painted them black. This took several coats of glossy spray paint. I think I actually ended up using two cans. And some primer (don't have pics of that).


Next I sprayed clear gloss sealant over the stained wood on the boxes, then taped off the wood part so I could stain the fabric. I considered replacing it, but I'd have to take them apart and I wasn't gonna do that.


I tried like hell to dye the fabric, but applying the dye was a bitch. It would just fall through and not get much of the fabric. If I used a sponge, it sprayed everywhere and still didn't cover enough. So I said screw it, and spraypainted the fabric black. If you scratch it it will probably reveal a bright white (or dingy 70s yellowish that looks white next to the black). But as long as no one touches them they look pretty good.


Now to paint that wall...


It's called "Coach Lamp Copper." I was looking for something in a semi-grownup finish, and this seemed to fit the bill. Right now the tv is still sitting on the $30 bookcase I bought from Target in 1998 and spray painted black five years ago. Time to put that on the curb. The next day I discovered that someone had come by, smashed it to pieces, and left it there. Oh well, I tried. Time to wall mount that tv.

I did that all by myself, thank you very much. Don't you ever tell me I can't do something, you son of a bitch. It looks tiny in this photo, but it's huge in my apartment.

Then I put together the "espresso" coffee table.


Almost done! Next time: pillow dying and putting it all together with faggy candles. Right now it's time for bed.

We Band Of Brothers

O, do not wish one more!
Rather proclaim film it, Westmoreland JT, through my host,
That he which hath no stomach to this fight,
Let him depart; his passport shall be made,
And crowns for convoy put into his purse;
We would not die in that man's company
That fears his fellowship to die with us.
This day is call'd the feast of Crispian Crispy Bacon.
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian Crispy Bacon.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian Crispy.'
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,
And say 'These wounds I had on Crispian's Crispy Bacon’s day.'
Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember, with advantages,
What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words-
Harry David the King, Bedford Jonathan and Exeter Michael,
Warwick Adam and Talbot Mark, Salisbury Nick and Gloucester Vinny the Cat -
Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian Crispy Bacon shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood eats a pig with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England everywhere now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought gorged with us upon Saint Crispin's Crispy Bacon’s day!

www.hardtackandswill.com

Nuff said.

The Bacon Explosion

Well enough of that mopey depressing crap. How down can I be when there's THIS to look forward to? I'm doing it on Saturday and having a bunch of friends over. I can't wait!

Recap / Back Again

Well. Here I am. I haven't blogged in a long time, and there are many reasons for that. But most people who read this know what's going on with me, so I'll just keep this simple. 2008 and the beginning of 2009 were not what I thought they would be. I honestly thought that the dreariness was over, that dreams would come true, that this was the friggin' age of Aquarius. Why did I think that? Well the first few should tell you. Here are some jottings that will recap it all. Maybe I'll blog later in length about them individually. Maybe not. By the way, I'm listening to Dan Bern's "Airplane Blues" as I write this. I recommend everyone buy everything he's recorded. Here we go.

A black man was elected President. I campaigned for him in many ways. I always kind of felt like he was going to win, but it was a long haul. At least, I felt like he SHOULD win and that if our country had any sense left, he would. I write this first because it was SUCH A RELIEF to realize people weren't as stupid as I thought they might be.

The Cubs did NOT win the world series. At the beginning of the year I saw a sign on a WGN broadcast being held up by a rather homely redheaded guy saying: WGN: World Series, Girlfriend, New job. Bob Brenly said "Good luck with that, pal." He was being funny, and I like Bob a lot, but I thought to myself "that's what I want. Don't mock that, Bob." Well I didn't get the W. As for the G and the N, well, I...uh...came close.

I started dating someone.

I fell in love. For the first time, for real, in love. I still love her, and I probably always will. She is the funniest, coolest, wildest, most real, intense, mature, immature, fireball of life I've ever met, let alone dated. She changed my life.

I got dumped. Ok, that's not totally fair because it wasn't as harsh as that makes it sound. But suffice it to say that the first girl I really loved broke up with me. It hurts. Badly. I've only been broken up with one time before, and that girl turned out to be a lesbian. I can only hope that this one has some mission to Mars that required her to do it. And that there is some way I can stow away on board a chaser ship or go rogue and steal some secret craft and chase her to the alien planet myself. I guess I need to work on living in reality, but my mindworld is much more fun. In there you can be a hero and there are happy endings. And I'm at least as powerful as Superman.

I passed the bar. It took a while, but happy Jesus was it a good feeling. I can't even describe it. I was actually free of the job I hated, because I knew I'd eventually move on. And never have to study or worry about it again. I became not just a lawyer, but a CALIFORNIA lawyer.

I got laid off. A couple months after the pass, I was out of a job. It's partly because of my former boss, who's not worth a flying fuck of a mention, and crazy, and jealous (he never passed the bar), and partly because my company laid off 25% of the workforce and then two weeks later the boss took several people (outside the company) that he wanted to impress to Cabo to the tune of $280,000. How many salaries is that?

We had a recession. See above. In this economy, to do this kind of thing is a crime. My former boss, Avi Lerner, is not a good Jew.

My aunt died. I ended a chapter in my life. She was practically my mom for a lot of years, and had been remarried. Her husband didn't consult my sister or I on the funeral arrangements and then tried to accuse us of owing money when he forgot about the account dedicated for that. It was awkward.

My sister had a baby. I am an uncle. She's adorable, and I went to see her over thanksgiving. Unfortunately I had strep throat so bad I had to go to the emergency room, which wasn't totally covered by my insurance (layoff). I spent the whole time in my sister's basement. Then she and my bro in law got sick, and my girlfriend came to visit and we spent the whole time inside. But my niece is happy and healthy, and did I mention adorable. She has so much ahead of her, it's awesome. In fact, I'm kind of jealous. I know I'm supposed to have a Louis Armstrong sort of generous attitude about all the things she'll know that I'll never learn, but I can't help the fact that I'm jealous. By the time she gets old enough to know, ipods will be in every pack of chips. Hell, commercial space flight may be like nothing by the time she's ten. Aw who am I kidding, I'll be doing my damnedest to buy her a ticket. After I get one for me. :)

I was sick about four times between thanksgiving and new year's. I haven't been sick that many times in 15 years. Literally.

There were other things. These were the big ones. I still have my health, and count myself lucky to have learned how to love. It was the first time for me. I had to eat into my savings, and I have no job, but my credit cards are paid off and my credit score is pretty damn effin' good for the first time in my life. And I have a new tv (the old one broke, which was sad because my sis and I were there when my dad bought it and she always let me have it and it lasted 17 years and seeing it go down was like watching a ship you built get torpedoed). But the new wall mounted 52" LCD HD tv is UNBELIEVABLE and yes I know that I am very lucky to be bitching about not having a job but having a tv most people would kill for. Trust me, it is not lost on me). Cheap material things compensate for a broken heart, right?

I kid. Sort of. Not really.

I have an interview on Friday. First one in almost three months. So that's something to look forward to. God willin' and the creek don't rise, I'll be able to get a job and buy a little place this year. Then I'll own real estate in California. Wouldn't that be a dream? Maybe I'll concentrate on that. Someday, a person to share it with. Baby steps.

I guess I said I'd keep this simple, and I didn't. I blame you. Anyway the breakup was today, and I felt like venting. And since when have I ever been succinct?

Auto and other bail outs

A friend sent me this article on the auto bail out. I disagree with a lot of things this guy has to say. Aside from being a car company shill, his logic seems flawed to me. He says:

"Loan assistance from the federal government that tries to control the companies too tightly, that forces them to bring to market vehicles that the public may not want, might simply assure that they fail somewhat later rather than sooner."

I have news for you, Mr. Nerad. The public wants fuel efficient vehicles. You don't see them bitching about airbags, do you?

He then says:

"Instead of simply limiting foreign imports or adding federal taxes to fuel costs to give consumers an incentive to buy more fuel-efficient vehicles,the government instituted byzantine regulations that required American manufacturers to build (or at least market) fuel-efficient cars just so they could continue selling the cars and trucks they were already known for."

Excuse me? Nerad seems to be arguing that limiting foreign imports would have given the American public an incentive to buy more fuel efficient cars. Why? This is wrong on so many levels. First, those fuel efficient cars he's talking about were only available as imports back then. American cars weren't fuel efficient. So if you couldn't get the fuel efficient import car, how were you going to have an incentive to buy a fuel efficient car?? There's no incentive created there. And since you couldn't have bought a fuel efficient car anyway, you would have bought the American gas guzzling boat. How on earth would making that boat people's only option give the American car company any incentive to build anything else? This is exactly what the American auto makers wanted - less competition, so they wouldn't have to offer fuel efficient cars.

Secondly, adding federal taxes to fuel costs would have had the same effect. Americans would have bought more fuel efficient cars, surely - and since only imports were really fuel efficient at the time, it would have increased sales of foreign cars! Which actually happened anyway, and the big 3 didn't respond.

What's funny is that later in the article Nerad argues that the foreign automakers' voluntary limitations on imports helped create "strong dealer networks" and "windfall profits" for foreign auto companies, and in turn hurt the U.S. manufacturers. But in the quote above, limitation on foreign imports IS EXACTLY THE THING HE WAS ARGUING FOR. Which is it, Jack? You can't have it both ways.

As to the second part, about forcing U.S. automakers to offer "other" cars "just so they continue selling the cars they were already known for, this is terrible logic again. First, if automakers didn't want to offer new brands, they could have made their "well known" brands more fuel efficient. Simple. Second, they weren't "forced" to do this just so they could keep selling their famous models. That makes it sound like the govt. stepped in and put this heinous condition on them willy nilly. Nope. They were going under, and guess what they were going under from? Selling their "well known" (but shitty) cars.

The driving argument behind all this seems to be that American car makers needed time to catch up to the foreign companies in order to be able to offer fuel efficient cars. I wonder if they're "geared up" yet? BECAUSE THEY'VE HAD 30 YEARS. Is that enough, or should we wait a few more decades?

Blaming the American car manufacturers' woes on govt. regulations from 1980 is downright silly. American cars suck, bottom line. Every argument he brings up can be countered by one sentence addressed to domestic auto makers:

BUILD A BETTER FUCKING CAR.

Anyway, here's another article on why at least one of the big three shouldn't get a bailout, for another reason - they already have all the money they need.

And a few more facts about corporate greed to make your blood boil.

Keith Olberman on Prop 8

Obama Wins

Thank God.

Olberman on Palin: Socialist, Fraud

McCain says the S word

TOP 5 REASONS OBAMA SUPPORTERS SHOULDN'T REST EASY

1. The polls may be wrong. This is an unprecedented election. No one knows how racism may affect what voters tell pollsters—or what they do in the voting booth. And the polls are narrowing anyway. In the last few days, John McCain has gained ground in most national polls, as his campaign has gone even more negative.

2. Dirty tricks. Republicans are already illegally purging voters from the rolls in some states. They're whipping up hysteria over ACORN to justify more challenges to new voters. Misleading flyers about the voting process have started appearing in black neighborhoods. And of course, many counties still use unsecure voting machines.

3. October surprise. In politics, 15 days is a long time. The next McCain smear could dominate the news for a week. There could be a crisis with Iran, or Bin Laden could release another tape, or worse.

4. Those who forget history... In 2000, Al Gore won the popular vote after trailing by seven points in the final days of the race. In 1980, Reagan was eight points down in the polls in late October and came back to win. Races can shift—fast!

5. Landslide. Even with Barack Obama in the White House, passing universal health care and a new clean-energy policy is going to be hard. Insurance, drug and oil companies will fight us every step of the way. We need the kind of landslide that will give Barack a huge mandate.

You can sign up to volunteer at your local Obama office by clicking here:

Colin Powell Endorses Barack Obama

Nostrobamus

An Open Letter to Joe Lieberman's Rabbis

I'm certainly not Jewish, but today being Yom Kippur, I thought I'd just post a link to a letter that I think is especially timely. I would just reproduce the text, but Mr. Kornbluth wrote it to the Huffington Post, so I'll leave it there and just link to it. Anyway I think everyone should read the Huffpo daily.

So here it is. It's a letter from Jesse Kornbluth to Joe Lieberman's Rabbis asking them to ask Joe Lieberman to ask McCain to stop the hate. A couple steps removed, but McCain supposedly listens to Joe Lieberman, and if Joe Lieberman is a good Jew than he should be doing this anyway.

I think the holocaust imagery and implied consequences may be a bit overly dramatic, but the point is taken. McCain and Palin are, by not speaking out against hatred, condoning it. And I don't think that's by accident. The right uses fear to win, and hatred comes from that same fear. They know what they're doing.

In fact, they've already convinced some people that Barack Obama is nothing less than a terrorist. Check it out:



Of course, these people aren't likely to be convinced by any argument to change their views. The best thing rational, thinking people can do to combat this kind of ignorance and hate is to get more rational, thinking people registered to vote.

You can do that here, at Rock The Vote, where they will email you your voter registration form.

Or, if you want to find out how to vote early or register to vote absentee, go here.

John McCain, where did you go?

Cubs.

Dude.

Go Cubs Go!

Please God, let the Cubs win today.

Amen.

Interview Sarah Palin

You can conduct your very own Sarah Palin interview here.