TAKE THE COSMO QUIZ!

TAKE THE COSMO QUIZ!

1. Why did your man cheat on you?
a. I forgot to read last month’s Cosmo!
b. Not enough eye makeup
c. Because he’s a MAN
d. Because of that whore, Angela

2. How did you catch your man cheating?
a. Followed him
b. Teddy bear nursery cam
c. Interrogated dry cleaner
d. Hundreds of hours of assumptions

3. What’s the best way to trick your man into falling in love with you?
a. Stripper pole classes
b. More eye makeup
c. Find out in next month’s Cosmo!
d. Imitate your favorite celebrity slut

4. How can you spice it up in the bedroom?
a. Stripper pole classes
b. Different positions
c. Potpourri
d. Find out in next month’s Cosmo!

5. What’s the most important thing to bring on a 1st date?
a. Your diaphragm
b. Your boyfriend’s/husband’s credit card
c. A sassy attitude
d. Daddy issues

6. What do you have for breakfast?
a. Cigarettes and blow
b. Celeb gossip
c. Self-doubt
d. That bitch, Angela

7. What’s the best ice-breaker at a party?
a. Got any cigarettes/blow/celeb gossip/potpourri?
b. Have you guys read the new Cosmo?
c. Ohmygod, I am sooooooooooo druuunk!
d. Hi, my name’s Angela.

8. Which “Goddess Mantra” fits you best?
a. I have a blackbelt in confidence!*
b. What would Lindsay do?
c. This is my vag. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
d. Wonder twin powers, accessorize!

9. You lock eyes with a hot guy across the room. You:
a. Flip your hair and laugh loudly
b. Ignore him, take a deep breath, and try not to look smart
c. Dry hump a chair
d. All of the above

10. Why aren’t you hot enough?
a. Daddy issues
b. Girl’s magazines
c. TV
d. Not standing next to that stupid ugly bitch, Angela







* actual “Goddess Mantra” of the day from Cosmo.